The Ayahausca Experience - A Parallel Universe

The experience that changed my life

I pray that my hands are guided to write about this as clearly as possible. I went to the Hummingbird Centre (just outside Iquitos) for a 10 Day retreat, to participate in Ayahuasca ceremonies. Just to give you some background - Ayahuasca is a traditional medicine that has been used by the indigenious people of Peru for the past 3000 years. It is a visionary plant, and a purgative one at that. It is used to remove negative energies, which includes attachments to painful memories, clears cancer, depresssion and addiction (amongst others). An insightful article was published in National Geographic, which you can read about here:  National Geographic article on Ayahuasca

When I say visionary, you may think that this is some wild drug trip, where you space out and see all sorts of drug induced images. This is exactly what Ayahuasca is not. It is one of the oldest forms of physical, emotional and spiritual healing which can occur in the space of a few hours. During this time you are taken within, and this by far the most frightful thing I have ever done. Infact before each ceremony I announced loud & proud that I would be leaving the Centre and that this method of healing was just not for me.

As much as I fancied the idea of being ready for change, when it came to it, all I wanted to do was run a hundred miles per hour, in the opposite direction. Upon reflection, I feel foolish having felt this way, but when you are in the midst of it, it truly is a paralyzing fear. Now that I have overcome it, I feel I can do anything with my life.

Ayahuasca takes you to the depths of your soul, and forces you to visit your deepest fears. Once she has taken you there, you are miraculously relieved of that very issue that was blocking you in life and preventing you from moving forward. Ayahuasca strips you bare of all the negativety that keeps you trapped and connects you to a power far greater than yourself.

When I arrived at the centre, I thought the people there were a bit strange, away with the fairies. I ofcourse, was blessed to be the only `sane` one. Listening to their experiences totally blew my Western concept of God and the afterlife out of the water and I just couldn´t wrap my peanut brain around their stories. This all changed RADICALLY once my veil between the reality of this life and life on `the other side` was lifted. 

In my first ceremony I was taken to a parallel universe. I`ve subsequently heard there are many such places. 

I was surrounded by a love that stretched the corners of the universe, and filled my soul to bursting. I was part of God, and God was flowing through every part of my body. I was part of all the other souls in this place, and they were part of me.

I now realise that this construct of `seperateness` is but that, a construct. The reality is that we are all connected. God is not a being that sits on a thrown and is unreachable. He LIVES in us, he IS us. We are, in essence, spiritual beings, having a human experience. No explanation could do justice to the intensity and beauty experienced, but it is a knowing that I will carry in my heart forever.

I am not scared of dying anymore, and I am becoming aware of how important it is to live a life that aligns perfectly to who you are. There is nothing more expected of us. We are to live in perfect harmony with our truth and when we do that, our existance will be nothing short of magical.

In this universe I saw a myriad of exploding colour and sound. Sounds that are not of this world - something powerfully pure. It was during this experience that I realised that my feeling of seperateness and isolation I had felt my entire life had been an illusion. A big fat lie. Never again will I feel desperation creeping into the silence of the night. I also saw my guides hovering over my body and mattress, protecting me.

Before a ceremony one is intended to reflect on your intention. For my first ceremony I asked Ayahausca to clear me of all my blocks. When in this `other place` I physically felt streams of gunk leaving my body in long lengthy trails - from all orifices in my body. I was convinced when I´d `come to`, I would never be able to face people again, because I would be lying in a pool of my own gunk. But when I came too that wasn´t the case, and I realised this purging had taken place in the other reality.

Many people experience severe physical purging, and I was blessed that this did not pay a visit this time round. I had a serious block against it, and I think Ayahuasca was helping me to work through my other, more pressing issues.

The purging is not pleasant, nor is visiting those dark places, but when you come back you are finally free of the very things that kept you prisoner. 

I went into the second ceremony totally freaked out because of the intensity experienced in the first and the hours of agony I had to endure. So the 2nd was caught fighting my fears and despite receiving a few poignant messages, the experience was not as strong as the 1st.

My last ceremony was by far the highlight and turning point. I went in with the intention to `Show me what it is I need to know`. I woke up on a beach, at the age of 5, feeling alone and desolated. I remember calling for my dad, desperate. Night descended and still he wasn`t there. A vision that reflects the reality of my life and helped me to understand why I had always felt so insular and desolated.

Then something miraculous happened. My dad and I met in spirit form. I experienced INTENSE love and felt the tears streaming down my face. I was sending him (in energy form) the love I felt, a love that was tainted with pain. Infact it was so painful, that I begged it to stop. This feeling carried on for what felt like an eternity (but was probably a few minutes in reality), and just as soon as our bond was established, just so it was cut.

I felt Ayahausca tell me that I needed to tell him how I felt, and to show him this pain-love that had resided in the dark shadows of my soul for 27years. This was a one-way exchange from me to him. When that bond of energy between us was cut I felt him drift away and literally sighed a collapsive sigh of relief. I saw his energy drift away, and he was free. I was also free for the first time in my life.

As I was explaining after the ceremony, for 27yrs I felt that I was dragging around an invisible mammoth behind me, and the pain of this effort became so part of my psyche that it became comfortable. Breaking away from this pain was frightening, because it meant adopting a new way of being.

The shamans that perform the ceremonies are incredibly insightful and are able to read people without you having to say a word. Jungle (one of the shamans) told Tracy after my first ceremony that I was carrying around a lot of heavy, negative family energy. Shamans are able to ´see` things like this. Don`t ask me to explain, because even they are not able to.

After the experience with my dad, I was taken to my mom and felt the infinite expanse of her love for me. It was all consuming and so powerful it felt as if I could illuminate the universe with it. In return I felt my love for her, and this experience opened up my heart. I suddenly felt and realised how big my heart was, and that at my essence, I  was love. Nothing more, nothing less.

I felt the magnificence and beauty of my being. Once again it was all consuming and washed over me in waves. I wish that I was able to see myself in much the same way in real life. In the spirit world it seemed so natural and normal, it was simply part of who I was.

I am not going into the depths of all the experiences or messages, but I do hope that this gives some sort of idea of the magnitude of healing that occured. I have been told I look different. I do. I can feel it in my heart. I am free, liberated and ready to live the life I was intended to live. Free of pain, of negative self-talk, of a restrictive mind-set. Free of the prison that I had constructed around myself.

20 years of psychotherapy could not possibly equate to this experience. It totally nullifies conventional Western medicine and couch sessions. I am convinced that this is the answer. No wonder the church burned medicinal healers during the middle ages. They were trying to burn this sacred knowledge so that they could gain control of people through fear.

Our society is ruled by fear, as are we. But there is the alternative, and a totally natural one at that.

Should you be ready for change and to reach the full potential of your magnificent self, I believe this is the answer. You can read more about the centre I visited by clicking here: 

Hummingbird Retreat Centre in Iquitos

If you are serious about this you need to follow an Ayahausca diet for atleast one week before you go - which includes no oil, salt, refined sugar, meat, alcohol or sex. The longer you can maintain this prior to your experience, the better. 

I can promise you the following - the life changing results you experience will be worth every penny. If you suffer from depression, addiction or any other issue that restricts you, it can and will be lifted.

To personal freedom and unlimited potential.

It is time to set yourself free :-)

Just a little bit about my night on the Amazon

And so it was that I found myself on the Amazon river night before last, having returned from my Ayahuasca retreat, thinking that it would be romantic to sleep in the floating restaurant´s swinging hammocks. After a night spent dancing and singing on the unsteady wooden deck with my new-found friends from the Centre, night descended, as did the onslaught of mosquitos.

We were attacked from all angles and Tabbard didn`t seem to help at all. The owner of the restaurant organised mattresses and mosquito nets for us, so that we would still resemble human beings come morning. We were full of reckless abandon, swam in the river, ate fantastic Amazonian fish and just felt high on life after our life changing Ayahauscan experience.

At 1am the  heavens opened up and torrential rains and wind ensued. The boys came up with the clever idea of using the restaurant tables as roofs. We carefully wiped the underside of the table clean of spiders and then slept happily (although cramped for style) underneath. Even though I felt disappointed in myself for having considered a night on the Amazon a romantic idea, the memory of sleeping under tables will bring a smile to my face for the rest of my days.